Brats? In a vending machine?! Are you friggin' kidding me?!?!Let me start this entry by confessing two things. First, the other day, I thought I had a bright idea. As you'll soon learn, it was an idea, but it wasn't very bright. And second, I'm a food snob. I admit it. I have some foods about which I am absolutely an elitist. One of those foods is bratwursts. But I'm jumping ahead.
The other day, I had lunch with a friend downtown (Connecticut and 18th.) I decided after lunch that I would walk home. It was a beautiful day; no humidity, temps in the high 70s, slight breeze. My route of choice was Connecticut Avenue to National Zoo, then cut through the zoo and come out on Beach Drive. From there, Beach Drive to 16th Street via Blagden. If you could see a map of D.C., you'd think "sounds okay." Yeah. Not so much. By the time I hit Blagden, I had to call a friend to come and get me because my plantar fascitis was screaming.
That said, though, had I not walked almost home that day, I wouldn't have walked through the zoo. And if I hadn't walked through the zoo, I wouldn't have run across what you're seeing in the picture above: a bratwurst dispenser. Let me repeat, bold, and color that:
A BRATWURST DISPENSER!
You know that saying, "Just when I thought I'd seen it all..."? Well, this is the pinnacle for me. A vending machine that dispenses brats is just beyond the pale of what constitutes cuisine and offends my elitist sensibilities regarding what constitutes a brat and how it should be served. Frankly, if I was Germany or Austria, I'd go to war with us over this culinary offense!
There you have it. My snobbery vis-a-vis brats and the thing of all things that I think will at last be the thing I can say with finality, "Just when I thought I'd seen it all..."
Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential, 09/08
